What’s the deal?
There’s no secret key to making a relationship last long-term. Relationships are hard and complicated and unfortunately, not many last forever. But while you’re going to face obstacles, there are things you can do to help your relationship go the distance.
1. Be Willing To Work
While relationships shouldn’t be torturous, they can be difficult and complicated at times. Even the happiest couples will face obstacles and have to fight the temptation to walk away. The reality is, some days you’ll feel like giving up. In order for your relationship to last, you have to be willing to work and push through the hard times.
2. Make Time For Sex
While sex definitely isn’t everything, intimacy is a crucial part of a long-term relationship. It helps you feel emotionally connected to your partner in a way nothing else can. While you might think it’s okay to let your busy schedule get in the way of intimacy, it’s not. Make time for sex even if you have to pencil it into your planner.
3. Assume The Best
Your partner isn’t an a**hole, which means you should give them the benefit of the doubt when they hurt your feelings or make you feel insecure. Your partner would never intentionally hurt you. You know that, so don’t get upset! Instead, assume they’re coming from a place of love and always trying to do what’s best for you.
4. Take Responsibility
Your partner doesn’t always have to be wrong, and they won’t be. Sometimes things will be your fault, which means you’ll have to take the blame. Are you okay with that? You need to be if you want your relationship to go the distance. You’re not a perfect person and that’s something you need to know to be in a successful relationship.
5. Express Love
If you didn’t love your significant other, you probably wouldn’t be in the relationship. The problem is, being in love doesn’t mean you’re naturally expressing love. It’s important for your partner to feel your love and vice versa. Make sure you’re both going out of your way to put a smile on the other’s face.
6. Don’t Keep Score
It doesn’t matter how many times they were right and you were wrong. It doesn’t matter how many times you did something romantic and they didn’t. Keeping score in your relationship is a pointless and damaging activity. If your partner isn’t giving you what you want, have a conversation about it. Don’t keep score and then throw the data in their face.
7. Make Sure You’re On The Same Page
Do you both want kids? Do you both want to move across the country in five years? A relationship can’t flourish unless you’re both on the same page about your values and goals. That said, values and goals change. What your partner wants today might not be what they want tomorrow. Make sure you’re constantly checking in with each other to ensure you’re both still on the same page.
8. Face Conflict Head-On
When there’s a problem, address it. Don’t wait days or weeks to let your partner know there’s a problem. If you wait, you’ll have more time to reflect, which will probably make you madder. When you finally do confront your partner, it won’t be pretty. Try not to hide your emotions or pretend they don’t exist just because you’re afraid of conflict.
9. Be Vocal About What You Like
Don’t just speak up when you’re upset, speak up when you’re happy. Randomly tell your partner how much you value them and your relationship so there’s never any doubt. If you discuss your partner’s flaws more than their positives, your relationship will quickly turn toxic and won’t be able to go the distance.
10. Do Something Different
Not every date night should be spent watching Netflix and ordering dinner to-go. In order for your relationship to go the distance, there has to be some excitement! That means you have to switch up your routine sometimes. I’m not suggesting you go skydiving, but do something you haven’t before.
11. Make Sure You’re Both Happy
For a relationship to last, both parties need to be happy. And the sad truth is, no matter how nice your partner is they’re not responsible for your happiness. Sure, they can do things to put a smile on your face, but if you’re looking at your partner to improve your entire life, your relationship won’t last. It’s up to you to change yourself and enhance your flaws.
Originally Published: www.bolde.com