Although “No” is such a short word, it can be so difficult to say. When a friend asks if you can help them with a favor or your co-worker invites you to their house party, you might want to say “no” but not wish to offend them. This doesn’t mean you have to suck it up and do what they want. There are other ways to get out of the situation. Here are 15 phrases people use as alternatives to saying “no.”
1. “I’ll think about it.”
This is a common phrase people say when they really want to say “no” but feel uncomfortable doing so, like if they’ve been put on the spot with a request. It’s great because it buys them a bit of time before they have to excuse themselves and disappoint the person. Saying “I’ll let you know” sets the other person up to expect “no” for an answer, but without cutting off the conversation. It also prevents someone from saying “no” too quickly, which they might regret later.
2. “Let me check my schedule.”
This is another good way of saying “no” without actually saying it. The person is telling the requester that they’re hesitant to commit right away. This phrase allows them to consider the request, since they might genuinely need to consult their calendar to assess their availability, or they might use it as a polite way to delay making a decision. Either way, it’s a diplomatic response that allows for flexibility and avoids the discomfort of telling someone no.
3. “I might have something else on that day.”
This phrase is similar to the two previous ones because it’s a tactful way of implying that one’s schedule is already full without having to say “no” to an invitation or request. It leaves room for interpretation, allowing the person to gracefully decline the request without providing specific details about their existing commitments. It also softens the rejection by leaving the situation open. If they decide to say “yes” closer to the time, they can use the excuse of their previous commitment being canceled.
4. “I’ll try to rearrange my plans.”
This phrase is a positive way to say “no” to someone because it suggests a willingness to consider the request. The person declining the request will try to rearrange their schedule to accommodate the other person, showing flexibility and openness. However, it also prevents them from feeling pressured to say “yes” if they don’t want to. Since rearranging their plans isn’t guaranteed, it gives them an escape route if necessary while being kind.
5. “Let me sleep on it.”
If someone isn’t sure whether or not they want to help the person or attend their event, this phrase is a more polite way of saying, “I don’t know if I want to be there.” It implies that the person wants to give the request careful consideration—by suggesting that they’ll sleep on it, it also helps them to weigh the pros and cons of the request and make an informed decision after having time to reflect on it.
6. “If something in my calendar opens up, I’ll let you know.”
This phrase is a great way of saying “no” because it’s implied without having to say it. Instead, by promising to check their calendar for availability, the person shows they want to support but their full schedule prevents them from doing so. It takes a lot of pressure off the answer and still shows a willingness to be helpful.
7. “I’ll have to check with my partner.”
For those requests that strike out of the blue, suggesting that one has to consult with their partner first is a way of deferring the decision-making process to another person. It indicates that the person respects their partner while implying that their partner’s input or schedule will influence their decision to attend the social gathering. This takes the pressure off them, as they don’t have to take responsibility for saying “no” in the moment.
8. “Do you know Sarah/John is more qualified for this?”
When someone deflects a request by suggesting another person may be more qualified, it can be a subtle way of declining the request without saying “no.” It shifts the focus onto another person, allowing them to maintain a positive relationship with the requester by offering them a potential alternative solution. For example, if someone asks them to help them plan a birthday party, they could suggest their friend who excels at party planning. Or, if someone asks them for help with a recipe, they might mention a friend who’s an excellent home chef.
9. “Thanks for thinking of me, but I’ll have to pass.”
This phrase works well because it starts with gratitude. By thanking the person for the request or invite, it makes it easier to decline. It shows appreciation for the person for having thought of them, softening the impact of the rejection. However, by stating that they’ll have to pass, they make it clear that they’re unable to accept the offer. This phrase maintains a balance between being polite and assertive, without using the word “no.”
10. “I’m committed to something else. Perhaps next time?”
By saying they’re already committed to something else, the person makes it clear there’s no way for them to clear up their schedule. While this might seem harsh, including, “Perhaps next time?” can help show politeness and interest in the invitation. This phrase reframes “no” as a matter of conflicting priorities rather than personal preference. It leaves the door open for future opportunities while coming across as someone who doesn’t back out of their responsibilities.
11. “I’m trying to cut back on ____, so I’ll have to decline.”
It can help one to say “no” if they focus on a specific, personal reason for why they can’t oblige the person. For example, if someone gets invited to a party at a pub, they could mention that they’ve given up alcohol, which is a valid reason for them to decline. Similarly, someone who’s cutting back on sweet foods might politely decline an invitation to a baking class. Indicating a desire to reduce certain activities can help someone say “no” without seeming unappreciative. It fosters honesty and authenticity in relationships, as well as displaying a commitment to self-care.
12. “Let me know the next time you go. I’d love to join.”
If someone has been invited to a fitness class or hike by someone who does the activity on a regular basis, a smart way to get out of it is to focus on the next time the person will be attending it again. Saying, “Let me know when you go the next time, I’d love to join,” suggests a future opportunity for collaboration or engagement. This approach draws the focus away from the negativity of saying “no” to the fun of a future interaction with the person. It keeps things positive and hopeful!
13. “Unfortunately I can’t make it, but here’s how I can help.”
This phrase works well if someone is asking for a specific favor. If the person can’t commit to helping out, they don’t have to say “no” and leave it at that. Instead, they can mention ways they can assist, which shows they’re willing to be involved. For example, if someone’s asked to house-sit for their friend, they might not be available, but they could offer to stop by and water their plants or walk their dogs. In this way, the approach encourages creativity and flexibility.
14. “I’m afraid that doesn’t work for me.”
Using a gentle yet straightforward phrase like “I’m afraid I can’t” communicates a clear refusal while expressing regret. It acknowledges the person’s invitation with empathy and sincerity, fostering understanding and goodwill. It’s particularly useful in situations when providing detailed reasons for declining can feel awkward or uncomfortable. It allows one to assert their boundaries while maintaining respect for the other person.
15. “I’m not feeling up for it.”
This phrase keeps things vague while being something that the requestor can’t really argue with. “Not feeling up to” something can mean various things, from physical illness to overcommitments. It helps to assert one’s personal boundaries and self-care, without being mean. Instead of giving a direct or blunt “no,” the person can acknowledge their limitations without feeling obligated to justify their decision.
Originally Published: www.bolde.com
