The need for love persists for years. And even if the girl has matured and realized that she could not get the attention she needs from her mother, the need for warmth remains. She begins to look for a source of satisfaction for this need for relationships in men. Not receiving unconditional love, a woman seeks reasons in herself, believing that she is not good enough to be loved.
Such women are straightforward to identify. Here are the main characteristics that can let you know the woman did not receive enough love and affection from her parents.
Often people who are quite successful in life admit that they feel not real, as if they play some role. They studied well at school well, graduated from high schools, developed additional skills, advanced well on the career ladder thanks to their skills, but even if friends admired their success, they live with the feeling that they really did not deserve these praises. Because a mother will never even praise an adult daughter explicitly, while not forgetting to reproach her for shortcomings. And the lack of praise from the closest person devalues any victories.
Distrust of others
Because of self-doubt, mistrust of others arises. “Why do they communicate with me?” “Why are they friends with me?” “Why are they interested in my life?” “What do they really need from me?” Uncertainty in oneself, one’s virtues leads to the fact that a woman does not believe in the sincerity of the relationship. She seems suspicious of the right attitude towards her. In childhood, no one praised her without reason. This inferiority complex is fixed in youth, and by adulthood, distrust of men and the world appears.
In a relationship, the desire to receive confirmation of feelings becomes manic: “Talk to me. Is something wrong? Did I offend you with something? Why then are you ignoring me? Do you still love me?” The relations of women who have experienced a lack of love must necessarily be colored in the spectrum of a variety of feelings — jealousy (he must be secretly using dating sites in Europe), quarrels, violent reconciliation, short quiet happiness. It is these relationships that are taken for love. And deep and trusting relationships seem strange and wrong, dull. Many say that there is no love in such a relationship because love is hot, bright, like war, competition. They need a roller coaster — ups and downs.
Having felt in childhood and adolescence the charm of the emotional coldness of the closest people, or the instability of their parents’ emotions, frequent criticism, and the almost complete absence of praise, a person acquires an unstable internal state. It continually forces a woman to prejudices in communication not only with a man but also in general with friends and relatives. She will go from one extreme to another: she seeks very close relationships, practically dissolves in communication, then closes herself in fear of alienation for her openness, to be rejected.
In a relationship, striving for a complete merger with a partner in order to make up for the lack of maternal love, a woman only repels a man with her actions. She is trying to destroy both her and his borders, to get as close as possible, and finally feel the boundless love that will warm the soul! But when
our boundaries are violated, the natural reaction is to close, restore distance. But a woman often perceives such a “retreat” as a man’s unwillingness to get closer.
Uncertainty in their abilities
This point is a continuation of the characteristics of a person having low self-esteem. Many people don’t feel their achievements. They do not believe that they actually succeeded in anything. It is as if they cannot believe that they themselves have achieved this, that they can be powerful, are able and worthy.
If a woman’s parents often criticized her shortcomings and tried their best to correct her, she will not grow confident and independent. Hiring tutors so that little girl could know as many foreign languages as possible, keeping her on a diet, if in the opinion of parents, the girl’s figure is not perfect, forbidding a kid to talk loudly, express her feelings because girls do not argue — all of this leads to deep insecurities in every sphere of life.
Of course, parents want the best future for their kids. But when they never praise them for the medals received at the Olympics, nor for the honors, neither for nothing, they hurt future adults. Later on, a woman who was raised in such conditions and never heard “Well done” from the parent who seemed to be always unhappy with something, will fight for love all her life.