When we get older, the feeling of having a partner becomes more and more urgent. Aside from societal pressures, we feel the urge inside ourselves grow to find that one person that just gets us. These are a few reasons why not chasing is the best way to get what you’ve always wanted and why you’re ready for a relationship once you stop looking for one.

1. You won’t come over as desperate

Let’s be real, ladies. No one likes that one girl at the bar who’s so desperate for some male attention that she’s falling over every guy she sees. You want to be the prize, not the overly devoted potential future partner. Especially when they’ve only known you for five minutes. It’s not the commitment that scares that potential guy away, it’s the desperation that’s a massive turn off. Give him something to chase after.

2. You’re fulfilled

You are not your relationship status. There are so many facets of your life that define you, a partner would only be a nice addition to what you’ve built for yourself. They don’t make or break the mental house you’ve already built for yourself, they’re merely the reason why it becomes more homey. A stable and happy person who is obviously enjoying her life and living it to the fullest, will attract people of the same kind. This will help give your relationship a great foundation to build on.

3. Chasing influences your personality

More often than not, the dating game makes us forget a little of who we are. We might feel more pressure to say or do certain things on dates in order to impress or at least, to be memorable. Keeping up the pretense of who you were during dates makes the transition to an exclusive relationship much harder. After all, when relationships start to settle down and become more familiar you want to be more comfortable with your partner. So putting in less effort is actually beneficial.

4. It undermines your feminine power

Although feminism has taken our world by storm, there is still a fundamental rule in the universe of sex. Men chase and women do not. Men like chasing, it makes them feel secure in their masculinity when they’ve accomplished something – in this case, getting you.

5. It might make you feel hopeless

Chasing in the long run might leave you with too many bad dates to count. You might even get depressed at the thought of getting back out there, after all, who’s out there anyway? You’ve tried many times, and they just haven’t been good or even lasted. Eventually, it might lead to some sort of bitterness. They aren’t good for you anyway. And that, is exactly the attitude that turns people away even more.

6. It means you’re not being your best self

If you were really on top of your game, a partner wouldn’t be on top of your list. At least, not enough for you to take time out of your own schedule to hunt down that person that supposedly makes your life better. That’s the whole point, they’re not supposed to make your life better – they’re only there to share their lives with yours. And how you attract them is by having that beautiful life you’ve made for yourself, after all, who wants to share lives with a total slob?

7. It might make you frustrated

Dating is frustrating, we all know that. If you start chasing, however, continuously trying to find that one person who will turn your life around – you’ll just be sending out that wrong type of energy. Instead of a positive dating experience, chasing might leave you annoyed with yourself and with love in general. Plus, getting yourself down pursuing love will just give you a negative image of what it’s really like to be in love.

8. Happiness is a magnet

When someone smiles at you, you smile back automatically. Happiness attracts happiness. If you are happy with who you are, with your life, with what you have built for yourself – you have absolutely nothing to worry about. Someone will see that and wish to share a little of your light, and you can share theirs. That’s the beauty of relationships.

9. Work on yourself

The most important lesson of all is to work on yourself. You’re the most expensive thing you’re ever going to own and nurture. Continuous growth will take you to new heights, to new people who are also happy with themselves. The positive circle is where we want to be in, that’s the sort of life partner we’d all want to have.

Originally Published: www.bolde.com


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