The death of only son or daughter is the worst kind of loss on earth. It is inconsolable. The father and mother will not be satisfied with any kind of reasoning. But how to overcome grief of death of child in a real way, not by blaming on fate or cursing God.
Bhagavan Sri Ramana Maharshi once consoled a man whose three year old son had just died.
A very devoted and simple devotee had lost his only son, a child of three. The next day he arrived at the Ashram with his family.
Referring to them, Bhagavan said: Training of mind helps one to bear sorrows and bereavements with courage; but the loss of one’s children is said to be the worst of all grief.
Grief only exists as long as one considers oneself to have a definite form; if the form is transcended one knows the One Self to be eternal. There is neither death nor birth.
What is born is only the body, and this is the creation of the ego. But the ego is not ordinarily perceived without the body and so is identified with it. It is thought that matters.
Let the sensible man consider whether he knew his body while in deep sleep. Why, then, does he feel it in the waking state? Although the body was not felt in sleep, didn’t the Self exist? What was his state when in deep sleep and what is it now when awake? What is the difference? The ego rises up, and that is waking. Simultaneously thoughts arise. Find out who has the thoughts. Where do they come from? They must arise from the conscious self. Apprehending this even vaguely helps towards the extinction of the ego. The realization of the One Infinite Existence becomes possible. In that state there are no individuals but only Eternal Being. Hence there is no thought of death or grieving.
Originally Published: www.hindu-blog.com
This may well be and I understand the essence of what is being communicated by the Bhagavan
However, the teaching does not take into account the very real physical grief that comes from losing a child, the cells cry out, the body aches is ways that no other experience can compare. a mother when still lactating must deal with the painful breasts that long to feed a baby. There is so so much more to coming to terms with grief than the acceptance of transcendence, I think only those of us who have experienced it truly understand.