As a whole, our society has become pretty good at becoming energetically aware and emotionally accountable. We have learned how to balance protecting our energy — but what we’re not often taught is how being spiritually and energetically responsible can also lead to better sex.

If we’re taking this intentional approach to our lifestyles and interpersonal dynamics, then it makes sense that the next phase of this conscious mindset would be rolled out into our sex life, right? This has us asking: why aren’t we talking about spiritually responsible energy approaches when it comes to high-vibrational sex?

From ancient erotic Indian studies such as the Kama Sutra (which means “principles of love”) to the known fact that sexuality has been shamed within Latine cultures by colonized religion, it’s apparent that sex holds tremendous power as a vessel of creation in more ways than one. This knowledge is either embraced or shunned, depending on the culture. But the art of sex can be an energetically powerful and beautiful experience under the universal law of cause and effect, as told by Hermetic philosophy.

Here are several ways to think about the role of spiritual energy during sex — and how to preserve your own — courtesy of everything I’ve learned as a spiritual mentor.

How Your Sexual Partner Influences Your Energy

Regardless of your gender or sexual preference, the energy transfer that occurs within a sex act is boundless. Consider the next time you have sex to be a sacred ritual you’re performing, whether alone or with another. This is what makes sex magic sex magic. Sex influences our energy, takes from our energy, and adds to the energy of another. Adding intention and knowing when your energy is in a healthy and elevated state can create a better sexual experience for all involved.

How Sex Can Affect Your Energy Positively

Think of your next lovemaking session like a teleportation portal where everything wonderful — emotionally and spiritually — is being vacuumed back and forth while you share this sensual moment of pleasure. Keep in mind: if you’re in your head too much or unable to relax because you have tons going on, this is going to influence your ability to climax.

If you’re able to energetically connect with your partner right off the bat and get the pleasure vibes going, this is not only an indication of reciprocated trust between you both, but an identifier that you and your partner are on the same wavelength spiritually. Reaching orgasms together speaks to steamy compatibility.

After a great tantric sexcapade, you might encounter feelings of elation, heightened creativity, or being in your power. This occurs when you and your partner approach the sacred ritual from a place of mutually wanting to spiritually give to one another. Sometimes it can even result in one of you manifesting a promotion or new opportunity from a mutually fulfilling experience.

How Sex Can Affect Your Energy Negatively

Have you ever felt low or emotionally off after a sexual encounter and weren’t quite sure why? Sometimes we want to chase a high or seek out a rewarding experience to replace a void or maybe refill our confidence, and this can be a way of masking.

Being completely transparent about this emotional state with someone you sexually trust is an important conversation to have; they should be aware of the energy transfer they’ll receive from your end. When one partner has a low frequency in the bedroom, this can deplete the other person afterward. If you’re aware that your partner is spiritually undergoing a challenging time in their life, it can manifest in you feeling spiritually depleted and emotionally low, too. If you are bringing pessimistic energy that might’ve lingered from a crappy day at work, this can attach to your lover, and they might walk away feeling easily irritated hours later for the remainder of their day.

Now let’s get into practical spiritual methods you can start adapting into your sacred sex practice to keep your energy refined and protected.

Do a Sage or Palo Santo Cleansing

If you’re ready to be devoured sensually, try working with the uplifting and pleasing scent of palo santo. Palo santo is used primarily for ceremonial purposes to help set the energetic space by cleansing it and resetting the energy of the space. It can also be used to sweep over your aura to ground your energy and remove impurities in your auric field. I have a presex ritual along with sex aftercare rituals that include palo santo that I highly recommend.

Try doing a solo or partner intention-setting meditation before engaging in sex. It doesn’t have to be a long meditation; it can simply be you both smudging one another with palo santo to begin casting a spiritual experience together, using the sacred smoke of the holy wood to intentionally clear low energies from the day.

If you prefer sage, you can find this sacred dried plant easily in many spiritual shops.

Conclude by asking the flame to clear, reset, and close your auric energy. Move the candle in front of your body in the symbol of the cross, starting from head to toe and then from left to right. Be careful not to burn yourself or drip hot wax. You can do this alone if they’re not into it.

Have a Crystal Nearby to Help You Manifest

A great way to get your yoni ready to manifest spiritual sex is by working with yoni crystal eggs. You can wear the appropriate yoni crystal egg the night before to prep your sacred vulva and wear on the following day to release the sexual energy of your partner. This is a way of creating a full-circle crystal cleanse.

If yoni eggs aren’t your thing, or you don’t have a yoni and you’re curious about how to use a crystal to help you manifest in the bedroom, we’ve got you! My recommended crystal for sex themes is red jasper. It’s also a great stone to help with removing lingering energy from old sex partners or to help with sexual trauma.

Red jasper doesn’t have to be placed inside your body. Place it on top of your sacral chakra – this is where your organs of procreation reside. Meditate with your red jasper before your intentional sex encounter. Visualize the red jasper stone opening your orange sacral chakra and energetically cleansing you. If you’re operating at the spur of the moment and don’t have time to perform this meditation, you can bring your red jasper with you and keep it nearby during the act.

Communicate Your Needs

Open communication usually results in making your next sex session a more positive environment. Only we know exactly what turns us on. And even if you’re psychic, that doesn’t make you or anyone a mind reader. So, let’s embrace communicating your needs and setting healthy expectations. Talking through your dislikes and likes is a great thing to do before any sexual encounter.

Some folks get off on dirty sex talk, and there’s no shame in that. Kindly instruct and lead your partner not only through gentle touch but through sensual speech. Try adding affirmative sex talk in the bedroom to keep the momentum going. Who doesn’t like to be told they’re doing a phenomenal job at getting their partner sexually aroused?

Make Sure to Set Boundaries

Boundaries are a way to foster an intentional exchange that makes everyone comfortable and happy. Communicating what you don’t feel too confident in sexually exploring helps engage your partner to better know how they can provide a safe space for you and vice versa. Casual sex can be with someone you’ve recently met or known for a significant amount of time, but that doesn’t mean both parties involved understand or should assume the boundaries of another. Just like we emphasize healthy boundaries with family and friendship dynamics, the same can be applied to your next FWB. Doing this creates a transparent and straightforward way of understanding how to keep respect and fun mutually aligned.

How to Energetically Cleanse Yourself After Sex

Whether you are engaged in sex with a longtime partner or a new booty call, it’s highly encouraged to energetically cleanse yourself afterward to keep the integrity of your energy. This energy exchange can influence you regardless of how familiar you are with your partner. Taking a shower or bath afterward is one of the best ways to cleanse yourself. In magic, water is often used to cleanse. You don’t have to rush home to do this or spend too much time soaking in a bath. I recommend adding one cup of sea salt or Himalayan pink salt to your bath or using a purifying body scrub for a practical meditation shower.

Recite: “I release what is not of my own. I call back my power I unconsciously gave away.” Do this repeatedly until you’re done with your salt scrub or bath. You can then visualize the water replenishing your aura and washing away others’ energy.

The day after sex with a partner can also activate emotional and spiritual revelations. Checking in with how you feel the following morning is a great way to tune into the experience and see if you want to keep re-creating these experiences or not, or if there’s potential for improvement.

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